Happiness
Sunday, April 24th, 2005Here’s the same post previously…had problems with the font…story i wrote for spm trials 2001…
Happiness
Happiness. What is the true meaning of happiness? Many have searched but yet failed in their search. Does happiness mean having material wealth? I have material wealth. I have 7 bungalows across the globe, 3 mansions and I collect cars like how a small child collects toy cars. But I do not have happiness. Does happiness mean having fun? Having girls as some males may say. I have a harem of girls who wait on me hand and foot, who fulfill my every desire. You may say that it is cruelty. But I did not ask them to come. Instead, they came willingly and even now there are many who are outside my door who wish to enter and be enslaved to me. I have all that but yet I am not happy.
Actually, to think about it, my condition was never always like this. I was not always filthy rich and miserable. To tell you the truth, I have once attained happiness and bliss but I have lost it. Well, you seem interested in my story. Do sit back as I tell you my tale.
I was never as rich as this. I was once like you, poor, and as a matter of fact, I was worse off than you.
My family was poor beyond description. All we had were simply the clothes on our back and a few simple utensils and accessories but somehow we managed to get by. My father was a farmer and so was my mother. I was the fourth out of eight children.
I was given the privilege of attending school. This privilege was not given to my three elder siblings as they had to help out on the farm. All the while, while I was in school, I envied all the other children. As poor as they were, they could still afford better things than I could. They had nice worn uniforms which were handed down while mine were tattered and torn. They seemed to be loved more than I am. They had money for lunch or even if they did not, they brought along food from their home. Me, all I had was an empty stomach during recess or lunch hours. Their parents came to take them home, even if it meant walking three kilometers from the farm to school. Mine did not even seem to care. I despised my parents as I felt that it was their fault I was brought into this world. Often, I wished that I had never been born so that I would not have to endure such sufferings. To the very day that they were lowered into their graves I despised them. They did not seem to care about me at all though in actual fact they loved me more than any of their children.
I resolved to change my destiny in life. I wanted to be better than all those children in school. Everything they had made me green with envy. If they had new books, I would have brand new books that just came off the press. But I knew that would be utterly impossible as I did not have the means to do so. But what I could do instead was to beat them in other fields. I could achieve better results. If they had 10A’s, I would get 10 A1’s. I could also be better than them in sports. I pushed myself relentlessly to achieve the impossible. To be a class above the rest. TO dream the impossible dream, so they say.
And thus began my journey I life. I pushed myself towards perfection. Well, I cannot credit everything to my sheer ability. You might say I was a little ruthless too. The best runner in school surprisingly had food poisoning on race day. I wonder what happened? All I did was simply add a little rat poison into his food. I also became an apple polisher. I polished my teachers’ apples. You might say that they never had a shinier apple what with all the apple polishing and waxing. I was every teachers’ little pet. I did all I could. I even copied during examinations but of course I was too sly to be caught. I was a model student for everyone…minus the bad elements that is. I finally became the best student there. I was the pride and joy of the whole school. I was best in Sitiawan , Kg. Koh and some say Ayer Tawar too. However, that was not enough
The determination to be the best was still with me as I ventured into the corporate world. I could not afford and form of higher education thus I could not be employed good jobs. Scholarships were unheard of during that time. Therefore, I started off my job at one of the lowest rung that is as an assistant supervisor. It was still my ambition to be the best. To one day rule the conglomerate that I was working in.
It was while climbing the corporate ladder that I met her. To say that she was an angel would be an understatement. She was simply…simply…there are no adjectives to describe her beauty. She was breathtaking, she was awesome…such grace, such finesse. It was as if she was God’s most perfect creation. It was like God had spent a little more time, a little more thought and effort into creating this immaculate being. Well I would not call it love at first sight but more like the alpha prime instinct in me to have the best bride. In the animal world, the dominant male has control over the best and here, I felt that she was the best and she would definitely be an added attraction to my throne.
Thus began my quest to conquer the most beautiful treasure in the world. I was not exactly good-looking but a little plastic surgery took care of that. You would agree with me that the best only deserves the best right? And it was my as the best to look the best. Anyway, on with my story. To cut a long story short let’s just say I managed to win the heart of my queen. It seemed that no other male homo sapien was interested in her, after I gave them RM 10 000 or a black eye whichever came first. She had no other choice but to marry me or to take a vow of celibacy.
It was while I was with her that I began to feel the change in my life. For the first time in life, I felt warmth all over my heart. I cherished the moment I was with her. We had 2 young angels of our own and this increased the joy in my life. They were such previous jewels that I spent the remnants of my time out of the office with them. I loved my wife and children dearly. You may say that it is impossible but she taught my cold heart how to love. I really really lover her with all my heart, my strength and my soul.
We built our dream home together. It was such a beautiful place, a paradise of our own. It was a house, situated on a remote hill with the mountains behind us and the wide open sea in front. From our vantage point of view, we could see dolphins frolicking in the shimmering sea and wild ponies prancing about along the hills. We had barbecues on weekends and in the evening, we played with our children. I can say that that was one of the most joyous occasion in life. I have never felt joy before and it took me thirty years before my wife taught me the meaning of joy. I even lost my mean streak for a while. All I could think of was how to make my wife and my 2 darling angels happy.
The both of us watched as our children became older and they went to school. Daddy’s little baby girl was no longer a baby now. Such happiness, such joy.
During the same time, in the corporate world, I was promoted higher and higher until I was second in the chain of command. Well, don’t get me wrong here. I rightfully deserved those posts. After marrying my wife, I had lost my ruthless ways. I achieved my successes fair and square. However, the drive and ambition to succeed was still with me. It was second nature to me.
One day, our leader who was well over the prime of his life was sent to the hospital. I visited him while he was on his deathbed. He said that I was one of his best employee and it was my right to be his successor. However, he said that it was not to be as his was a family-run business and as soon as he died, the conglomerate would be passed on to his only son. A he lay there; I could not take it. I pulled the plug on him. I killed him. How could he rob me of my rights? Needless to say his son somehow went missing.
I was soon promoted to be the boss. However, my wife found out about what I had done and threatened to report me to the police. How could she do this? How could she just ruin everything that I’ve worked for? How could she rob me off my own hardwork? And thus, in a fit of anger, I shot her right between the eyes 3 times. Bang, bang, bang. And there she lay, slumped on a chair with blood flowing down her beautiful white gown. I turned around to see my daughter and son standing at the foot of the stairs. They had a look of fear in their eyes. I could see terror all over their face. I did not care. They saw what I did to their mother thus they could be witnesses in court. They too could ruin my career. Tears trickled down my daughter’s face. She stared at me. "Why? Why Daddy?" That was all she could say. I stared at them with a deadly stare and I raised my rifle. Without warning two blazing bullets were submerged in their chests. Blood started oozing from where the bullets lay. They fell to the ground. As they lay there staring helplessly, I fired another shot into each of their heads. That was the end of them.
I carried their bodies to a cliff nearby and as they dropped down, the sea was ready to swallow them up. The smell of blood attracted sharks that roamed nearby. Soon, they were nothing else but fish food. It was not difficult to cover their disappearance. Whenever any of my colleagues asked about their whereabouts I would just say that they went back to my in-laws which were rather true as my in-laws were no longer in the world of the living. After 3 months, I lodged a police report that my wife had ran away with my children or rather had ‘kidnapped’ my children. The police immediately launched an investigation but were unable to find the whereabouts of my wife. I then filed for divorce stating irreconcilable difference as the reason. When my wife did not show up or sign the documents after 3 years the divorce was considered legal. Nobody asked me about my wife or children after that. If they asked, all I replied was that my wife had ran away with them and I had no idea where they are right now.
Devoid of evidence and witness, nobody could bring charges against me even if they could. In the corporate world, I amassed a fortune as the head of the fastest growing conglomerate. Of course, to be the fastest growing conglomerate, you have to have a few tricks up your sleeves. Bill Gates was the richest man on earth. Noticed the past tense? He was the richest man on earth because I am now the richest man on earth. My fortune of 100 billion US Dollar allows me to treat money like dirt. With all that fortune I could have anything at all that I wanted in the world. I could even own the whole of the
United States if I wanted to. But, my life was never quite the same. Eventhough I had everything, I still lacked something. And that something was happiness which could not be bought at all. My happiness went down with my wife and children as they were swallowed by the waves and the sharks.
You see, the secret to happiness is loving people and having people love you. It is that simple but I failed to realise that.I had what little happiness and I had destroyed all of it. Believe me, it’s not worth it. I would give up everything I have if only I could turn back the hands of time. But that is too late now. What is done is done. And now, all I can do is live the life and path that I have chosen. But wait a minute. You have learnt too much.I hear my dogs barking now. I guess they are hungry. I think I will give them a treat of human meat tonight since it’s been a while since they tasted human meat and oh yes, thank you for ‘volunteering’ yourself to be my dogs dinner tonight.
By Kelvin Lim
